i’ve been a getter my whole life.

people who aren’t related to me have given me thousands of dollars, bought me a car, taken me on trips, done a great deal of work for me at no charge, handed me roses on the street, healing stones in a coffee shop, show tickets on lines, etc. none of these people were romantic partners or relatives.

i don’t know why i attract these generous gifts. i don’t ever ask for them. i don’t expect people i know to give me such things.

i do accept that getting, or “being gifted by others,”(the more spiritual/acceptable phrasing) is part of my nature and that like beauty, talent, and family money it is unearned.

i’m often blown away by these gifts, but i’m no longer surprised when they materialize.

they used to freak me out. sometimes i wondered if i was so pathetic that people felt sorry for me. other times some people had expectations that came along with their gift

now i think these gifts say a lot more about the amazing friends,colleagues, and strangers i know than about me.

and therein lies my first point; giving reveals much more about the giver than the receiver.

my second point nonetheless is; whoever is on the other end of the giving isn’t a passive¬†recipient.

english isn’t the best language to talk about the relationship between the giver and the taker– with its subject/object construction– but it’s the only language in which i can write.

the receiver (or getter) is also having an experience, but it isn’t always the one the giver anticipates.

is it the responsibility of the giver to take this into account when giving?


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